The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift
Posted: Wednesday, June 07, 2006
by Brad Hutchinson
Beyond Kung Fu
Look back at the past year. How often did your father take you to a baseball game, the ballet, dance class, hockey practice, soccer games, music lessons? How often did he smile when you were sad, make you laugh with his silly jokes, call you by a nick name that made you feel good?
Maybe there are other things he does on a regular basis that make you happy. It is different for everyone. That is why a “one gift fits all" is not the best way to go. Whether he helps you with school work, plays catch with you, listens attentively to your stories of how your day was, or tucks you into bed at night there is a priceless gift that will make him feel like the best father in the world.
Let’s look further into the gifts that make you feel good first.
Even if that new bike brought a great deal of joy into your life you will remember more how he taught you to ride it. The real gift he gave—the one that outlives the life of the bike—is the skill to ride it. Maybe now you’re quite good at riding a bike but think back of when you needed training wheels, how you fell and he picked you up and put you back in the seat to try again. The Ultimate Father’s Day’s Gift is the one that outlives the life of any material gift.
Now for the things that don't always make you feel good…
A gift that we don’t often see as a gift from our fathers is discipline. He says we have to be in at a certain time, we can’t do fun things until our homework is done, we have to help with the chores around the house… These are also great gifts from him that make us better people. Sure that can be hard to see when we really want to do fun things rather than, say, clean the dishes. But when we become older and understand the concepts of teamwork, responsibility, and have good enough grades to chase down our great dreams we will thank him most for what he didn’t allow us to get away with.
Be thankful that he loves you enough to want you to become a helpful, caring person that does well in school then subsequently in life. When you start to look at thanking him in this way there are so many gifts you can give that don’t cost you a dime. Enter the Ultimate Father’s Day Gift.
….drum roll please...
Think about this: What is something your father wants for you? Notice how the question is phrased for you, not from you. This opens up a whole new arena of possible gifts. Maybe he wants for you to get better grades in school? Maybe he would like you to be more helpful around the house or to keep your room clean. Maybe it’s to not fight with your brother or sister… This is something only you could know. (Note: some of the above things may seem like they are for him especially when he says, "Will you clean your room for me?" But ultimately those habits are for you, to help you become more responsible which leads toward success later in life.)
In a nice card (which could be made by you) write a note telling him what his gift will be. It could go something like:
Happy Father’s Day! Dad here is your Ultimate Gift! I really wanted to do something great for you and so here is...
My Promise to You
“Because you have helped me so much with my school work I’m going to work hard to pull up my grades." Be specific here. If you are getting 70% in math, make a goal to get 75%. If you are getting 55%, make a goal to get 65% by the next report card. Then tell him how you are going to do that. “Without being told, I’m going to do my homework every night before I play games or do things I like to do. I will ask for help when I’m stuck and work hard to pull up my grades because of the way you have helped me all year."
Or maybe it will be something else like:
“For the next 3 months I will make sure my room is clean. To make this happen I will do a little bit everyday and a major clean once a week because I know you like my room to be clean."
Or...
“When I get angry with my brother/sister, I will not yell or punch or kick, I will take 5 breaths and settle any dispute with calm discussion because I know you want us to get along better."
To figure out the Ultimate Father’s Day Gift for your father look back and think about what he is always asking you to do, then promise to do that for a period of time without his asking. Make it something you can achieve. Maybe it will be a month of doing something every day without him asking. If you can do it for longer even better.
The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift is not a material gift it is a thoughtful gift delivered from the heart, something that really shows you appreciate him and what he does for you all year.
There is nothing more rewarding for a father to know that what he does for you all year long is appreciated. There could be no greater gift than helping him become the best father in the neighbourhood. Imagine him bragging about what a great child he has, knowing that it was his positive influence that helped to make you great. What could be a better gift than that?
The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift is the gift of returned love and appreciation through the vehicle of a promise.
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